Miami? Really?

Here's hoping that the sheer mass of egos now concentrated in South Beach causes the American Airlines Arena to implode.

Fuck off, LeBron.

Yeah, that about does it.

Bull Feathers

According to a report in the New York Times, LeBron James will be headed to the Chicago Bulls. An unidentified NBA executive

who did not want to be identified discussing a player who is not yet a free agent, said he had gathered from discussions with his fellow N.B.A. executives that James was strongly leaning toward joining the Bulls in tandem with another free agent, Chris Bosh

Aside from the obvious disappointment and unbridled hatred of the Bulls, I still don't like this idea. I just don't get it.

If you told me LeBron had decided to stay with the Cavs, OK. Disappointed, sure. But James decides to be the hometown hero and re-up with the only NBA team he's ever known. Plus, the Cavs are in a position to give him the most money, not that I really think James is in it for the money. Wherever he goes, he will be a rich man.

Then there's the Heat -- sure, you can make a case for that. A running buddy in Dwayne Wade, South Beach, and possibly Pat Riley as coach. Yep, I could see that, too. Even the Nets, if you buy that Jay-Z can get LeBron to put up with Newark for a few years before going to Brooklyn. And you're almost in New York.

But the Bulls? Really? Not to put too much pressure on a guy who seemed to be buckling under in Cleveland, but Chicago? They don't have much of a winning history there. Perhaps he misunderstood about being the next Jordan -- you don't actually have to follow in his footsteps. Why not ask for your #23 jersey while you're at it?

Like the song goes, "If you can make it there, you'll make it anywhere". There's nothing like winning it all in New York. While no contemporary Knick can explain this phenomenon, the Knicks may want to bring Mark Messier along with them to Ohio. As with the push for James, Messier was brought to New York for one reason only -- to win a championship. "The Messiah" delivered and will be forever remembered as a conquering hero. Hey, LeBron -- that could be you, too.

Thanks for coming -- See you in four years

In the nightmare scenario that ESPN laid out coming into the World Cup, the United States fails to get out of the Group round. This morning, ESPN faces its slightly lesser nightmare -- the U.S. team is eliminated on the first day of the second round. Ninety-eight percent of Americans forget that soccer exists until 2014.

Instead being inundated with stories of how the U.S. is finally ready to compete on the world stage, we are now faced with hearing about how the World Cup will finally make soccer relevant in America. At least, that's what Mike Freeman thinks:

Really, this time, the soccer flame might not be extinguished.

Really, Mike? For me, the World Cup is a lesser version of March Madness. Every year, millions of people with absolutely no interest in college basketball get all pumped up for the NCCA Tournament. Brackets are filled out. Bars are packed. Businesses suffer productivity loss as early round games are streamed live into cubicles across the country. And as soon as the Final Four comes to a close, most of those millions, who wouldn't know a Blue Devil from a Bulldog, go back to ignoring college hoops until St. Patty's rolls around again next year.

Cue "Soccer Madness". Brackets were filled out. Bars were packed. And now, millions of Americans who wouldn't know a volley from a vuvuzela can go back to ignoring "the beautiful game". Bet that seat in the bar won't be hard to find now.

Alton Brown Boils Eggs

Please note that this post has nothing to do with sports. It's just that every time I want to boil eggs properly, I try to remember Alton Brown's preferred method. Unfortunately, I always come up blank. Internet searches sometimes pay off, but I figured this time I'd make my own permanent record.

Here, culled from an internet chat session, is Alton's method for making the perfect hard-boiled eggs:

I put however many eggs I want to cook into a pot of cold water. I bring it to a boil, I cover the pan, I remove the pan from the heat, and I wait eight minutes. Peel immediately under cold running water. That will give you a slightly soft yolk. If you want a really hard yolk, go with twelve minutes.

Feel free to make yourself some eggs. I've got the pot on the stove, now...

The Right Call

The headline blared, "Top Michigan recruit Dorsey denied admission to school". One of Rich Rodriguez's big signings, one of the guys who was going to help turn the tide for Michigan, had been suddenly barred at the door:

Michigan athletic director Dave Brandon says Florida prep football star Demar Dorsey has been informed he will not be admitted to the school.

And I say, good for you, Michigan. Good. For. You.

Demar Dorsey can't be the only talented defensive back in the country. And despite its recent woes, Dorsey can't be the only talented player willing to commit to Michigan. At a certain point, a university must hold itself to certain standards. Clearly the leadership at Michigan is willing to uphold those standards.

While I am disappointed that Michigan will now be without a potential star, Dorsey would only have been one of many missing pieces in the puzzle. Do Michigan's more stringent academic standards make it harder to compete against Ohio State, where you only need to be a resident to get in? Or Penn State, whose bar for admittance isn't much higher? Maybe. But when the program does turn around -- with Rodriguez, or perhaps, Jim Harbaugh, at the helm -- it will make it that much more impressive.

Electoral College Football

Yes, I know, it's not actually sports. But still...

There was an interesting article in today's New York Times about how states that experienced rapid population growth during the real estate boom are suddenly not as popular destinations. Sun Belt states like Florida, Arizona and Nevada, which had each spent time ranked first in domestic migration over the last decade, find their rankings plummeting. But that's not really what caught my attention.

Since this was a Census survey, and the Census is used to determine representation in the House, it was the following paragraphs that struck me:

Arizona, Florida, Georgia, Nevada, South Carolina, Utah and Washington would gain one seat each, according to an analysis of the figures by Andrew A. Beveridge, a Queens College demographer.

States that would lose a seat include Iowa, Illinois, Louisiana, Massachusetts, Michigan, New Jersey, New York, and Pennsylvania. Ohio would lose two, leaving it with 16.

A quick check of my trusty Electoral Map shows that of the seven "gainers", four are solid "red" states. On the flip side, and far more distressing, of the nine states that will lose a seat (or two), eight of them are (mostly) solid "blue". That could easily change the makeup of the House without so much as losing an election. More math, but that equates to a net gain of roughly three new Red-state seats, while the Blue-staters are down six!

On the bright side, anyone from New York looking to move to Arizona, I hear they have some really great deals...

And that accident was just a minor blip on his driving record

There is no shortage of people weighing in on the Tiger Woods' saga. The latest to add his two cents is Nike co-founder Phil Knight. Speaking with the Sports Business Journal, Knight didn't think this whole Tiger mess was a big deal for one of his leading pitchmen. In fact, Knight thinks,

When his career is over, you’ll look back on these indiscretions as a minor blip, but the media is making a big deal out of it right now.

Right, Phil. Like that whole Monica Lewinsky thing is just a blip when you look back at Bill Clinton's presidency. In as much as the American media loves a good scandal to toss around for a week or two, this is no blip. This story, ultimately, becomes part of the Tiger Woods permanent narrative. Fairly or unfairly, the second paragraph of his biography has now been written.

Woods, golf great, blah, blah, blah, paragraph one.

However, his carefully-crafted image took a hit in 2009 when details of his extra-marital affairs, blah, blah, blah, paragraph two.

Will Tiger play great golf again? Beyond his recent physical failings, there's no reason to believe otherwise. But the days of Tiger Woods being America's #1 pitchman are probably over. (Ask Michael Jordan how all that cheatin' and gamblin' cut into his endorsements.) Although Accenture has been the only one of Tiger's sponsors to actually announce they were dropping him, many of the others will bide their time and simply "not renew" their sponsorship agreements. It's just not worth the risk, at least not now.